Tired.... Through and Through

To say that the past ten days have been stress-filled and all-consuming would be an understatement and a half.

I keep waiting to get used to this pretty much constant state of exhaustion that I exist in... but it's not happening. I'm used to working ridiculous hours -- I can't count how many 2am train rides I took back to Brooklyn after marathon days at Time Inc. --- but this is different -- it's like EVERY bit of me is tired -- body, mind, little bits of my soul........

No matter how much I sleep -- which, I admit is not much these days -- I'm still tired.

The week's been an odd one for me --- people keep stopping me to chat about the Food Network spot and the piece in the paper. I'm happy that it's left such an impression on people -- and it's brought some new faces into the shop -- which is great. On Thursday -- there was a press conference in front of the space with the mayor to debut the new street scape for the neighborhood.... I was given a shout out during the speeches and the press was encouraged to chat with me about my love of Benson and why I started my business here ----- which they did. The shop was well filmed and I gave an interview which (I've been told) aired for two days on the news here.

Again -- it's great (free!) publicity for Pulp -- but I felt a little strange about it... mainly because I've started having some serious doubts about whether this neighborhood can support the shop. I've begun spending large chunks of time sitting in the Old Market and Dundee -- coveting other people's foot traffic.... of which, I have none. At all. People come to see me -- which is awesome... but no one's stopping in during a Saturday afternoon of shopping, eating, touring, whatever -- which sucks.

The bars across the street love it when I have openings -- the bartenders jockie to work those night -- because when I shut down I pass over tons of people to them..... but there's not another business in this neighborhood that's funneling traffic to me in the same manner. I really love this community -- but I have a feeling that as the end of the year approaches, I need to make some decisions about what's best for the business..... and I'm not sure waiting for Benson to become what it will, eventually, become is really what's best.

I dunno.

Speaking of openings ---- the one last night went well. It's the work of an artist from Seattle named Parskid -- whose work I love and which is widely collected. I sold three pieces to someone in the UK yesterday afternoon, and four more during the reception. I'd been calling this my "jinxed show" because everything about it was chaos and craziness (the postcards for the show were sent to North Carolina...) -- but it ended up being a good night.

Tonight --- I'm baking off a cake for Stefanie's baby shower, catching some of a concert at the Waiting Room and a bit of my friend Dana's birthday party.... Tomorrow --- got the shower in the afternoon and then I'll hopefully just spend the rest of the day lying in my yard reading Philip Roth and sleeping.

Sleeping.....

*sigh*